i was sitting in Paris with seven women. we were evaluating the passions in our lives and weighing them against the others.
and then it happened, with a one-word response, a floodgate of tears came out of me. I’m an emotional person by nature. But this… this full body response to a simple question was indicative of something more. Something deep down inside of me that needed out. Need to be released.
It took me traveling halfway around the world to realize and understand what i need. From life. from friends. from family. and from myself!
We sat in our hotel room and thanked those voices in our heads. The ones that tell us what we can and cannot do. Because really, they’re just there to protect us. Nobody had ever told me that before. “Thank them for being protective” but then… let them go.
2016 was my best year BY FAR! It started off with losing my lifelong best friend. But in that physical loss, i gained the desire to see everything. And often times, i’d want to call him and laugh with him or have him educate me on the things i was seeing and hearing and tasting. It will always be wrong that he is gone. but he lived his life right. and i aspire to learn more from his legacy.
this year, my parents moved to the middle of the ocean. and i have never felt more alone or isolated. or orphaned. but in that emptiness, i found my adopted spirit. and a huge circle of friends that cared about me more than i had really ever understood.
this year, God showed me what this mustard seed faith can accomplish. I went on my first mission trip to Nicaragua. I built a home. I had group of you who believed in me enough to support my efforts and together we changed the trajectory of an impoverished family’s life.
This year i traveled to Paris and London by myself. And was hired to photograph in Colorado, NYC, Paris and Los Angeles. I’m officially an international photographer!!!
I took my child on more trips than i ever have before. I saw his personality emerge. And together we talked about our future. We dreamed big. We spoke things into existence.
As i sit here on the morning of 2017, i am thankful. thankful that the voices in my head showed up. and told me what i could and couldn’t do in this space of life. and i am thankful that on the footsteps of the Sacre Coeur in Paris, i took that list of limitations …. and i burned it.
for 2017, i am choosing to focus on ME. that’s my one little word. ME.
I want to step out from under shadows of what people think of me. shadows of fear. or doubt. or low self esteem. i want to declare and claim what is mine. what God has for me. and be excited and vocal about the things i have accomplished. i am finally living my life. i am finally feeling significant. and i finally feel like i have experienced some true favor from the Lord.
This isn’t about my fears or doubts or worries or concerns or past. it’s not even about my future. or my kid. or social expectations. it’s not about the voices in my head. or opinions of others. this year… THIS YEAR will be the year that it’s about me. I excitedly talked about this with my friend over brunch this morning and she showed me a quote from Yoga Girl, and i loved it so much, i have to share it!
“I take care of business by taking care of me”
the business of my health. the business of my life. parenting. motherhood. friendship. business of my relationships. and time investment. the business of money. and branding. and new projects. but before i take care of any of that…. there’s someone that i need to put as a priority. and that… that is
tell me what you’re focusing on this year, friends!!!!! i am SO looking forward to seeing your journeys!